A more serious incident occurred in 1904, when attempts by researchers in the Fundamental Thaumaturgy group to “split the thaum” in the basement of the Pitt Rivers museum accidently opened a rift in the space time continuum. Dinosaurs, it turns out, do not breath fire, so the dragon tamers from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures were eventually able to round most of them up[1]. The wooley mammoth was apparently quite docile. |
Apart from the mysterious fishy smell, Oxford’s muggles were oblivious to her endevours, until that is in 1986 a five metre long Hæmorrhoidia specimen broke free of the straps and plunged headfirst into a house in Headington. Thanks to a quick freezing charm performed by a passing wizard, and the diligent work of the Office for Disinformation, the muggle residents were convinced that the shark was merely an “art installation” and “fiberglass”. Prof. Marchbanks was firmly instructed to move any future specimens by portkey. |
The heroes of the defeat of You Know Who are primarily associated with Hogwarts School. However, we should remember that Albus Dumbledore himself was famously the youngest ever fellow appointed to the St CuB’s, and visited Oxford and the Transfiguration faculty many times over the years. More recently Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, accepted an honorary doctorate in Defence against the Dark Arts in 2018, and Minister of Magic Hermione Granger presided over the inauguration of the Poot building at St CuB’s in Janurary 2019.
What does the future hold for wizarding Oxford? No one, with the possible exception of the Divination Faculty[5], can know. However, as Eustace de Brontefotte, unofficial head ghost of the Oxford Association of the Untimely Deceased and Master of St Cutherbert’s (1455-1482) often says: “those who forget their history are condemned to fail their exams, so get back to studying before I alert the porters!”
[1] Apart from only one or two of the velociraptors
[2] Wizards are good at many things: sexing cats or kneazles is not one of them
[3] Fellow of the Royal Society of Wizarding Scholars
[4] So named because “Seeing one of them’ buggers swimming at you with its mouth open is enough to make anyone’s insides go all funny!”
[5] Rumoured to be located above The Bear and Eagle and Child pubs. They swear this is a coincidence.